Growing up, all of us went through teenage angst. We had so much anger at how our lives are dictated by adults who dont seem to understand what were going through at that moment in our lives. For some its still happening till today even though you are a parent yourself.
How their rules tend to cramp our style and makes us feel imprisoned with things that do not makes sense. Societal rules that made us feel like we are hypocrites complying to their every whim and expectations.
A Mother is a woman before she became a mother, therefore, she is still only human. If you are a mother and you realized that you feel bad because of this list, now is the time to forgive yourself. If there are some bad feelings between you and your child/children today is a good day to reach out and have that tough conversation that you’ve been trying to avoid.
Forgiveness is not about the other person, it’s about releasing the pain/disappointment so you can feel free. Also, if you want to mend the relationship with your mother you have to forgive her first, life is always shorter than we think and regret is not the last emotion you want to feel.
We tend to forget that just like us, she was once upon a time a new mother. She may not have the proper knowledge or guidance like we have right now. The amount of support groups we have is enormous compared to before. So lets learn from those mistakes and make ourselves a better parent to our children.
Sorry for not saying she’s proud of you more
Sorry for not teaching you more about how important it is to have high self-esteem and confidence.
Sorry for not telling you more about the importance of using the word “no” so that others won’t take advantage of you.
Sorry for yelling at you when she was mad at someone or something else.
Sorry for not encouraging you more to go after your dreams.
Sorry for not having more fun experiences with you when you were younger.
Sorry for not recognizing when she hurt your feelings because she may have accused you of something you didn’t do.
Sorry for making you feel that your brother or sister was her favorite.
Sorry for not having enough money to pay for everything you wanted to do, have, learn, or experience.
Sorry for not having enough time to spend with you while you were growing up.
Sorry for any negative remarks she made about your character.
Sorry for pushing you to pursue the career she wanted you to have.
Sorry for trying to stop you from making your own mistakes so you can learn what’s best for you which may have caused huge fights and created distance in your relationship.
Sorry for having a poor relationship with your father or other men which may have taught you that allowing men to treat you poorly was okay.
Sorry for not always being able to provide food, clothing, and shelter as a single mom.
Sorry for always leaving you in the dark about important family things because she was afraid to speak it out loud and didn’t know how you would react.
Sorry for her problems that became your problems.
Sorry for you having to be a parent to her, you, and your siblings.
Sorry for that accident she caused that left you hurt.
Sorry for not protecting you when you needed her to.
I am currently dealing with a pair of tweens. And damnnnn its harddddd... Their unstable emotions and constantly thinking that im out to get them makes parenting so hard. I always have to watch my words and methods on approaching matters with them and I knew, deep in them they must be feeling the way I felt back then. I hope one day, they would understand where Im coming from and forgive me for whatever that I lack of.
Love,
Ana
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